Hey guys, its Hana again. The truth is I am tired with my
life. At this point, you just witnessed
two story about suicide. Just two. Ever wonder if there is more?
I have seen this girl, attempting suicide like how many
times that I could remember? No. I don’t. Too many times.
The first one I saw her try to cut her wrist with a knife.
Just a simple knife that you use for your stationary. Luckily, the cut was not
deep. She did it in the middle of the night outside her school hostel. Right
after a big and shocking event happened at her school.
The second one, she tried to hang herself inside her room.
But all the attempts are failed because she was so scared when seeing the rope
hanging on her ceiling fan.
Third one, trying to eat many kinds of medicine, overdosed.
But God still love her that someone seeing her before she could even swallow a
pill.
And that’s the start of her story when all her friends in
her batch started to back off from her because they think she is crazy, has no
religion, tak ingat tuhan sebab nak bunuh diri.
The story ends up to the councellor's desk and she was
referred to a psychologist. Tho I thought she will recover, but no. She was
almost recovered until….
One of her relatives started to shred her heart and ripped
off the wound that was almost healed. Her uncle wouldn’t let her be friend with
the daughter anymore.
"Kau tu dah la gila! Dekat dengan anak aku, berjangkit
gila kau tu nanti!"
Serius pakcik? Kau pernah dengar ke ada orang dapat
depression sebab berjangkit dengan orang lain? Kau ingat ni flu ke? Or some
kind of wabak?
Otak tu layak bagi makan kat zombie je.. Silap-silap zombie
pun tak nak sebab otak tu kosong.
From that moment, she started to attempt suicide again.
First time, walking in front of a moving car. luckily the
driver was fast enough to stop before hitting her.
Second time, cut off her wrist and let it bleed inside a
water basin. Lucky enough her parents saved her and bring her to the hospital
as soon as possible.
Third time, trying to jump off from third level of the
hospital that she admitted. Lucky enough for this time because other patients
saw her and try to jump together with her. The chaos that they make attracted
the staffs and nobody was hurt during the process.
Until this moment, I saw her just lying in the bed because
she already ate her medicines that are enough to put her to sleep.
"Hani… Mari makan ubat"
I am sorry guys. Did Hana make a fuss on you guys just now?
I am sorry that I am letting her disturbing you. I was just going out for a
while to see the flowers in the garden.
By the way, I am Hani. Nice to meet you.
Why I am here? I was admitted because I already tried to
commit suicide dozens time, but unsuccessful. I don’t know why God didn’t want
to take my life. My life was too pathetic. I lost my best friend Melissa, my
cousin Nuha and myself. I don’t know how to live my life anymore.
"Eh, Hani, kenapa menangis ni?"
I stumbled looking to the nurse.
"Hani tak ada, dia pergi jumpa Nuha sekejap."
The staff nurse shocked. She immediately called the doctor
and saying something, while looking at me.
On by the way, you meet Hani just now? Pardon me for not
introducing her to you guys.
She is the person with multiple attempts of suicide that I
mention just now. The one that very close to me.
Yup. I saw her trying to commit suicide. I encourage her to
end her life. And I will the first person to be saddened when all her attempts
are failed.
Why? Because I love her. I don’t want to see her torturing
herself anymore. The world is too cruel for her.
The doctor tried to put an injection on me. As for me, I
just let him be. I know he just want to shut me down because he knew what I can
do to Hani. heh, come on. Hani pun memang nak sangat mati, kan?
So, this is my new home. Along with my new friends.
If I may ask you again,
What do you think about suicide?
And do you really take my entire story by heart? After realized
who I am? *grins*
Welcome to my world, guys. The world of Nur Hani Hanania.
